I wish I could understand myself sometimes but unfortunately I can’t. I love this woman, and I miss her but I don’t know why I am hesitating to do something. Maybe I am afraid. Maybe its something in my sub conscience. She is on my mind, a lot. I wish I knew what to do. But I don’t. Maybe I should I do something, but then again maybe I shouldn’t. Maybe it is for the best, but then again maybe it isn’t.
So after serving 4 years and 6 months in the United States Marine Corps my time has come to an end. On Friday November 15th 2013 I will be Honorably Discharged from Active Duty.
It is really all too surreal to be honest. I literally can not grasp my mind around the concept of me, being free out in the real world with really no higher power telling me what to do on a daily basis. It is overwhelming, I am afraid of the transition but I know I will have help a long the way.
I have made many friends and met a ton of people while stationed in North Carolina and over seas, I think the one thing I am going to miss is the bond we all shared through the bad and good times and how no matter what we were there for one another.
The real sad part of it all is that I will be returning back home to no one. Yes my family, but my friends that I once knew all those years back no longer exist. They have moved on with their lives as I did with mine. The friendships that I once had are just shells, hollow and mean nothing.
What am I really going back to? A bedroom, a house that I don’t even feel like I belong to. I feel as though I am a leper, I am going to be an outcast, I feel as though I am never going to feel as though I am “Home”. How sad does this sound? Because it seems absolutely pathetic that the place I consider home is my white brick walled barracks room.
I do not believe I am the only one who has ever felt like this, and maybe people are saying to themselves “You should have re-enlisted and you wouldn’t be facing this issue.” But the fact is I have a dream, a goal, an idea that I would like to come true like many people do. That dream of mine is to become a High School Teacher, and being a part of the best fighting force in the world will help move forward but it will ultimately not help get to that goal.
I thank the Marine Corps. for everything it has done for me, I am proud to be a United States Marine, and will forever be proud. I hope that everyone who has joined never regrets volunteering to fight for their country because I do not. I am glad I could be of service to my country these past years and I wish every one in the United States Military the best of luck and tell them thank you for your dedication.
— ― Dr. Seuss
And the walls kept tumbling down
In the city that we love
Grey clouds roll over the hills
Bringing darkness from above